I have been feeling that I am not enjoying the process lately, I am not having fun while I am working, previously I used to think about the problems even on weekends while out with friends, because they were my problems and I used to own them end to end, solving the problems then was not at all work for me, it was just me playing around with them and having fun, I used to write blogs and good documentation by hand because I throughly enjoyed writing it, it wasn’t for someone else to understand it or for any LLM to read infact it was just for me, to deepen and find gaps in my own understanding, these things are even though simple and naive, they worked out for me, it is by this process that I acquired taste and improved my ability to articulate my thoughts and helped me reduce my stuttering. It helped me land opportunities which I was never aiming for because all I was doing was just having fun. Now when I find myself spending the day managing claude and codex sessions I feel like I am depriving myself of this process which made me who I am

People have lost the passion to solve problems. People are chasing speed at the expense of their understanding and learning. I want to go back to my those days where I can spend incredible amount of hours thinking through problems, understanding code, by code this reminds of this one incident when I was taking a course on programming parallel computers and we learned to write assembly, the instructor used to host the solutions on his site which was created by his 12 year old son, this is kind of stuff that keeps me awake at night, will I be ever able to return to a normal job?